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Said friend is actually a really good friend. My mistake.

I successfully hurdled the shift-change insanity! Most of the team was cranky, friend called out, I skated by with making fun of Patrick.

Patrick... is SO... STUPID. I FUCKING HATE PATRICK! He's this stupid fat kid straight out of high school. He is fucking dumb as a brick. Every day, we literally marvel at his stupidity and wonder why he hasn't gotten fired yet. He can never drive to work without us, or leave before we do because he can't find his way there because he can't program his fucking GPS. One time, we actually had this conversation in front of five of my team members.

(Patrick is saying something retarded to people and I know they don't want to listen to them.)
"Patrick, what is that noise coming from your face??"
"Haha, I don't know, what?"
"I don't know, but it SOUNDS LIKE A RUSTY NAIL BEING SHOVED IN MY SKULL."
(My face cracks JUST A LITTLE BIT because everyone is barely listening to me now they're laughing so loudly.)
"HAHA YOU'RE DUMB BECAUSE YOU TALK ABOUT RUSTY NAILS."

We now call him Rusty Nail.

Jesus CHRIST, yesterday morning on the way to work, the whole time I was driving and forgot it was PATRICK who was following me. Instead, I thought it was some dude and quietly watched my mirror in skepticism. Once we got off the exit, I was like "JESUS CHRIST DUDE, THIS GUY HAS BEEN FOLLOWING ME ALL THE WAY FROM FREDERICK BEST BUY." I moved to lose him in the parking lot at this point. Then Jeff (my supervisor) was like "CHIP, THAT'S PATRICK YOU DUMB SHIT. WHY ARE YOU TURNING INTO WAL-MART?!" I was already in the parking lot though, so I turned onto a busy road and LOST HIM!!! We laughed all the way to Best Buy. He found his way though... that bastard.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
sourdick
Apr. 17th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
You should never hate the comic relief!
meridianchild
Apr. 17th, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
Oh, I do when he's getting paid the same as me and not doing anything except catching flies.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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